Review: The 500 Lunches Effect by Nick Bendel

* Copy courtesy of Publish Central *

When I learned Nick Bendel had lunch with 500 different people over the course of a few years and wrote about his experience in a book, I had to read it! At first I was deeply curious about The 500 Lunches Effect - How Social Courage Changes Everything by Nick Bendel. Would the author provide highlights in chronological order, group the conversations by person, occupation, theme of conversation, level of impact or something else entirely? Turns out it was something else entirely and Bendel takes the helicopter view to set out the life lessons he learned about social courage as part of this mammoth social experiment.

Inspired after reading 100 Lunches with Strangers by Kaley Chu, Nick Bendel decided he wanted to go one step - or 400 steps - further and have lunch with 500 strangers. He contacted Kaley in August 2019 and flew to her city to meet up with her for his very first lunch of the experiment. One down, 499 to go! Bendel points out that Kaley's immediate acceptance was an anomaly and that he rarely received an acceptance or even a reply to his invitations.

"During the six years it took to complete the project, I sent thousands of cold messages on LinkedIn* and email. Roughly 90 per cent never replied. Over the years, fewer than a dozen people responded to explicitly decline. Everyone else simply didn't answer. But eventually, 500 people said yes. And those 500 yeses changed my life." Page 16

I found it interesting that some of the lunch guests the author thought would be impressive weren't. And some of the people he had low expectations of ended up teaching him something important. There was no way of predicting which conversations would be challenging or profound, and people who looked accomplished and successful on paper often disappointed him in person. Bendel shares that a few conversations shifted his thinking entirely and a handful of them even changed the trajectory of his life.

Several themes kept showing up, and essentially:

"People want to feel seen. They want to feel heard. They want to feel interesting, valued and safe. When those conditions exist, trust forms quickly." Page 24

Nick Bendel was a socially withdrawn introvert and he takes the time to reiterate that this project didn't automatically make him into a gregarious extrovert. He's noticed some people wait for the confidence to act in a social setting, whereas he's now of the opinion that you need to act before feeling confident and that confidence will follow.

Bendel also advises that the more times you do something, the less difficult it feels and after reaching out to strangers on a regular basis, this act of social courage began to feel routine to him as time passed. As a consequence, his ability to tolerate mild discomfort improved and his threshold for social discomfort shifted which unlocked behaviours for him that would previously have felt out of reach.

The author offers advice on how to start a conversation and equally points out what 'not to do' which often causes more social anxiety. Much of it makes sense to me but could be life changing for readers who live in their head, focus on trying to impress a person they're in conversation with or lose time worrying about how they're coming across instead of relaxing and being present in the moment.

I did find myself wishing he'd included the content of his cold call lunch invitations in full as an appendix to the book. I'm sure every reader would be curious to see his approach and find out if he tweaked his invitations as the years ticked by. I also wanted more details on the 500 lunch participants and a breakdown of stats for those into that sort of thing would certainly have earned the book another star in this review. Definitely two missed opportunities in my opinion.

Reading The 500 Lunches Effect so soon after Once Upon a Stranger - The Science of How 'Small Talk' Can Add Up to a Big Life by Dr Gillian Sandstrom turned out to be a good move as they complement each other with surprisingly little overlap.

I think I'm warming up more and more to the idea of stunt non fiction like this where a person makes a commitment to take on an unusual and extremely challenging experiment for a fixed period of time or until a specific goal is met and then writes a book about their experience. Another stunt fiction book I've enjoyed is 365 Thank Yous - The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik and The 500 Lunches Effect is an excellent addition to this sub genre of non fiction. 

The 500 Lunches Effect - How Social Courage Changes Everything by Nick Bendel will appeal to readers looking to expand their social and/or professional circle who perhaps lack the incentive, motivation, courage or communication skills to do so.

* Hopefully I'm not the only one who read this and rushed to check my LinkedIn messages just in case Nick Bendel had asked me to lunch and I missed it.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Carpe Librum!

Giveaway (5 copies) & Review of Once Upon A Camino by Matthew S. Wilson

* Copy courtesy of the author *

Nine years ago, I interviewed Melbourne based author Matthew S. Wilson about reading, writing and his debut novel at the time, The Devil's In The Detail. Since then, Matthew has been working hard on his next masterpiece and has re-emerged from years of research with a compelling adventure story set in Spain.

Today marks the release of Once Upon A Camino by Matthew S. Wilson and to celebrate, Carpe Librum is giving away 5 copies signed by the author. This is an international giveaway and entries close at midnight AEST Sunday 24 July. See below to enter. 

Review

So, what did I make of it? I enjoyed it! Once Upon A Camino is about Tom and his journey on foot as a pilgrim along the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Tom is a successful white collar worker in London in love with his girlfriend Ana. He decides to fly to Spain in order to ask for her family's blessing to marry, but Ana's grandfather wants him to prove his love for her. What happens next is an unexpected series of events as Tom agrees to walk the Camino so he can propose to Ana.

Along the gruelling journey, Tom meets fellow pilgrims and they share their stories and motivations for making the same trek. The setting reminded me a little of a modern day take on The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer (there's even a Knight!) and I really enjoyed it.

Inspired by his own trek along the Camino in 2010, Once Upon A Camino is thoroughly researched and gave me an insight into Spanish history I hadn't encountered before. Unfolding from multiple character points of view and comprising an element of historical fiction, Once Upon A Camino is a story about love, courage, friendship, regret, fate and destiny and was beautifully told.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Blurb

Tom, a 28-year-old investment banker, lives a successful life in London with his girlfriend, Ana. Intending to propose, he flies to Spain, seeking her family’s blessing. But his plan runs aground when Ana’s grandfather, Tito, insists the union cannot proceed until Tom walks the Camino de Santiago, an 800-kilometre pilgrimage across Spain.

‘A man would walk across a country without hesitation for the love of his life, no?’

Upon commencing the Camino, Tom’s plans further unravel – his backpack mysteriously disappears, and his phone loses its signal. And when all the other hikers seemingly vanish, Tom makes a discovery that changes everything. Suddenly pursued by the authorities, Tom’s only path home to Ana is alongside a motley band of pilgrims bound for Santiago – among them a reclusive fisherman named Fernando, who carries his own dark secret.

Once Upon a Camino is a novel about time. It focuses on past regrets and untrodden paths. It’s a story of friendship and connection, of following your heart, despite your better judgement. It’s written for those who’ve walked the path to Santiago and others who simply enjoy life’s unpredictable journey and the strangers we meet along the way.

Giveaway

This giveaway has now closed and the winners have been announced.

Review: The Tens by Vanessa Jones

* Copy courtesy of the author *

Do you ever just feel like reading a book about a cult? It's been a while since I last visited a cult behind the safety of a well written narrative, but Australian author Vanessa Jones convinced me to give her latest novel The Tens a try.

Main character Sophie has recently been suffering from terrifying nightmares and she's seeing a therapist to help her work through some issues. After her husband leaves her, Sophie's world begins to fall apart and she relies more and more on her therapy. Sophie is the classic unreliable narrator and her behaviour becomes more worrying as time progresses.

A few errors and typos (like mignon instead of minion page 174) jolted me out of the storyline, and the occasional mixed tense broke the tension as my reading stumbled over the inconsistencies. The dynamic between Sophie and Abigail wasn't realistic enough for me and left me unconvinced. I'm certain that with a better editing process, these issues will be improved and the story will benefit greatly as a result.

I've been watching a lot of crime shows lately (Broadchurch, Troppo, Wire in the Blood) and it occurred to me while reading it, that The Tens would make a great screenplay for one of these programs. I later learned the author is also a screenwriter, so that makes perfect sense.

The Tens by Vanessa Jones is a solid thriller with Australian flair that is recommended for crime and thriller readers and fans of Aussie domestic noir. There's even a playlist that accompanies the novel which is fun!

For more great novels featuring cults, check out my reviews of the following:
Hive and Rogue by A.J. Betts ★★★ & ★★★
A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray ★★★
The Sacred Lies of Minnow Bly by Stephanie Oakes ★★★
The Nowhere Child by Christian White ★★★★

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Guest Review: Snotlings - The Boogie Monster by Tarryn Mallick

* Copy courtesy of the author *

Intro

James Harris

Junior guest reviewer James Harris has been reading up a storm over the holidays and discovered a new favourite Australian author. Snotlings - The Boogie Monster by Tarryn Mallick and illustrated by Nahum Ziersch is a laugh out loud thriller starring boogers and germs for children aged 7-12 years. I'll let James tell you all about it as he 'picks out' the best parts 😆

James' Review

Lucky for me Tarryn Mallick saw a review that I did on Carpe Librum and asked me to review her new book Snotlings. So it sounded really awesome - a whole world of boogers up someone’s nose, what's not to be excited about?

Firstly, it came in the mail. I never get mail so that was really exciting. And it was in a cool box, with a magnifying glass and some trading cards that were a bit like Pokémon cards, but were from the characters in the book. SO cool. And it was signed by the author and I was one of the first ever children to read the book! And there was 40 tiny pictures of snotlings to find in the book, which was fun to use the magnifying glass for. So I wanted to start this book straight away (but Mum made me finish the one I was reading first).

There is this boy called Jackson, who is a kid about my age who NEVER vacuums his room (which sounds like me..!). He has a booger collection in his room, and one day he picks his nose and sees the booger move. So he uses a magnifying glass to look at it and finds a little warrior named Flick. This opens up the story about a whole world inside his nose where there is a war going on. There is good guys (the snotlings who have really cool names like Flick, Loogie, Crust, Goober) who live in Stickly Castle, and the bad guys (Mucuszar and his army of germs). And then they come out to the real world and try to destroy it by turning them into nose picking zombies. Jackson and his friends have to stop this all from happening, and explain it to the adults.

I liked this because it was funny and was easy to imagine the world because it painted a clear image in my head of the world up Jackson’s nose. I really hope there will be a book 2 because I think it has a lot of potential and this book has already based the story so well, it would be easy to jump into a new story of the snotlings.

I give it 5 snotballs out of 5 (and totally worth picking your nose for….)

James' Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: The Reach by B. Michael Radburn

* Copy courtesy of Pantera Press *

Taylor Bridges is back! We first met Park Ranger Taylor Bridges in Tasmania in The Crossing, then caught up with him in Gippsland Victoria in The Falls, and this time he's on secondment to the Hawkesbury River in NSW.

Bridges has earned a reputation as a remote crime scene specialist and this time he's heading into a remote logging community called Devlins Reach. With a population of only 320 people, Devlins Reach is accessible by ferry across the Hawkesbury River. Taylor has been asked to employ his unique set of skills to assist Detective Sergeant (DS) Ryan Everett in the investigation into the remains of three men discovered at an excavation site.

Radburn's skill at capturing the Australian bush is in full swing again and the isolated environment almost becomes a character of its own as the river swells and a huge weather event is on the way.

Small town characters feature throughout the book as DS Everett and Taylor Bridges attempt to identify the men and establish who may have wanted to harm them. The history of the island is full of secrets and unexplained disappearances and the locals are reluctant to talk; preferring to keep their secrets to themselves. Bridges shares his beliefs on energy and history which adds to the tension:

" I believe when something bad happens - and I mean something truly wicked - it can leave a stain, some kind of residue on the place; a memory that can't be wiped clean. Nothing to do with spectres, things that go bump in the night; it's more grounded than that, as if the energy sparked during that wicked deed remains burning somehow." Page 106

The Reach has a dark and otherworldly undercurrent, with an old logger's tale about a Hoodoo that takes on many forms and is responsible for men disappearing from the logger's camp. Taylor's daughter is channelling warnings from her deceased sister Claire that may or may not be relevant to the case. Many locals believe in a dark power and it's up to the reader to decide if any of it is real or not. I really enjoyed this duality and it certainly added to my reading experience.

With limited resources at hand and zero back up available, Bridges and Everett make a great team. We hear from them in alternating chapters that makes for an entertaining and convincing crime-solving endeavour. The Reach can be comfortably read as a stand alone with a few references to Taylor's background enough to inform the reader, however I do recommend you start at the beginning in order to enjoy the character arc and understand how Taylor has found himself with this unique set of skills.

This series continues to be cinematic, and I can easily imagine Bridges holding his own with many of the other single name crime and mystery solving specialists on our TV screens, like: Bones, Bosch, Cardinal, Castle, Chance, Dexter, Goliath, Harrow, House, Lucifer, Luther, Sherlock, Strike, River and Wallander. Okay, sorry, I think I got a little carried away there. Obviously single name TV shows are a 'thing' I enjoy and I totally think Bridges should be added to their company.

I really enjoy the continuity in the titles of this series, Glorys Crossing becomes The Crossing, The Falls is the location of the second book and Devlins Reach becomes The Reach. In listening to an interview with the author on the Good Reading podcast, I've learned the next book in the series is called The Wells which will be taking Taylor Bridges up north to the Northern Territory. 

What a terrific Australian crime series this is turning out to be; with each book set in a different state of Australia, readers are able to journey around the country with Taylor, solving crimes in national parks and rural and remote locations as they go. I'll definitely be looking forward to Taylor's next interstate secondment.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Subterranean by B. Michael Radburn

* Copy courtesy of Atlas Productions *

Aussie author and Carpe Librum favourite B. Michael Radburn is back with Subterranean; a story about a woman on the run after leaving an abusive relationship and a homeless Army veteran living in the abandoned train tunnels beneath Sydney's streets. Cassie is being pursued by twins hired by her husband who put me immediately in mind of the twin brothers Leonel and Marco Salamanca from Breaking Bad.

Daniel is trying to recover from the physical and emotional trauma experienced in Afghanistan and when these two flawed characters meet, the reader can't resist hoping they will find a way to help each other.

Subterranean is a novella and a quick read, however the presentation in smaller format paperback, large font and with the inclusion of several illustrations gave me the immediate impression this was a YA novel. This stand alone novella can easily be read by a YA audience, but it's a confusing presentation of an adult novella in my opinion. The shadowy cover design captures the feel of the story perfectly and I could easily have done without the illustrations and large print.

As with his Taylor Bridges series, Radburn does an excellent job of bringing Australian characters to life and describing the Australian landscape. In Subterranean he convincingly captures Sydney's urban and underground environment and the pips of the ABC Radio News broadcasts were a very nice touch.

Highlighting the plight of our own homeless veterans and the lack of services from the Department of Veterans' Affairs in this novella was an added bonus and as a fellow veteran, I hope this helps shine a light on this important and ongoing issue.

However, Subterranean's ending was the real highlight for me. It was an unexpected climax I didn't realise we were working towards and which provided a very satisfying end to the story. A great read!

Carpe Librum!

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

P.S. Check out my reviews of the following books by B. Michael Radburn:
- The Crossing
- Blackwater Moon
- The Falls

Review: Hide by S.J. Morgan

*Copy courtesy of the author & Midnight Sun Publishing*

Hide is Australian author S.J. Morgan's first adult novel and it's a thrilling read.

It's 1983 in Swansea, South Wales where we first meet Alec Johnston. A somewhat flawed character who doesn't quite know what to do with his life, Alec is sharing a flat with bikies, Minto, Stobes and Black. (Great names right?)

The overbearing Minto has a girlfriend Sindy and while Alec knows he should mind his own business, he can't help but be drawn in by Sindy's vulnerability and the situations she finds herself in. Try as he might, Alec just can't seem to get out from under the gaze of his bikie housemates; Minto in particular.

Alec seeks help from his parents who live in Cardiff and are easily the most memorable fictional parents I've encountered in a long time. I was definitely rooting for the parents the whole way; perhaps even more so than our protagonist Alec at times!

What develops is a slow burn domestic noir which ramps up the tension as the short punchy chapters progress. The action moves to Australia (not a spoiler, this is in the blurb) and the novel develops into a crime thriller which kept me turning the pages.

Ultimately, I would have liked more information on Sindy and a watertight ending but the conclusion was a satisfactory one, just the same.

With an atmospheric cover design which accurately conveys the trouble ahead for Alec, I believe Hide will appeal to crime fans who enjoy a good domestic thriller.

I'll be running a giveaway on 22 November alongside an interview with the author S.J. Morgan so stay tuned for a chance to win your own signed copy of Hide.

Carpe Librum!

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Friday Freebie: WIN a copy of Honey Farm Dreaming by Anna Featherstone

RRP $32.99 AUD

* Copy courtesy of the author *

Today's giveaway is a memoir by Australian author and small farmer Anna Featherstone. Honey Farm Dreaming is a memoir about sustainability, small farming and the not-so simple life. It includes organic balm recipes, secret farmhouse recipes and tips on how to make a bee hotel and attract bees to your garden. Enter below for your chance to win a copy.

Blurb
A farmyard full of animals, thousands of tourists in the garden, a hundred backpackers in the house, millions of bees in the air - and one family. What could possibly go wrong?

When Anna and Andrew move their young family to a farm the future is uncertain. All they know is what they feel - a desire to become contributors not consumers. City folk, they are starting from scratch 'not knowing how to make anything, grow anything, fix anything or really do anything'.

Ten years on, and the 90-acre farm transforms from a bland grass paddock to something that is energetic, vibrant, ethical and beautiful. The farm becomes home to honey and native bees, and a multitude of plant and animal species; it lures thousands of visitors all seeking a slice of idyllic farm life to enrich their souls and, sometimes, their social media feeds. Meanwhile, Anna feeds her own soul, becoming a passionate producer of honey, herbs, handmade medicinal balms and other farm-made goods, recipes for which are included in this book.

It's called 'living the dream', but is it? Discover more about the 'good life' and enjoy a good laugh from this entertaining, engrossing memoir in which author Anna Featherstone lays bare what it's like to follow your dreams and to find success, failure and finally understanding along the way.

Author Bio
Anna Featherstone has spent more than a decade small farming where she's made mistakes, balms and a life with her family. Their small but productive farm has won state and National tourism awards for its agritourism offering which included a farmstay. Anna thinks about the environment a lot, loves growing Chinese Raisins, turmeric and tulsi and is a balm-maker, bee lover, writer and speaker. Her first book, co-authored with Andrew Campbell is Small Farm Success Australia: How to Make a Life and a Living on the Land. Visit her website for more: www.annafeatherstone.com

Giveaway

This giveaway has now closed.

Review: The Troubles Keeper by Susan May

* Copy courtesy of the author *

Rory Fine has the ability to lift the worries and concerns of a person just by touching them. A handshake or the briefest touch can leave people feeling lighter, happier and as if their troubles have just disappeared. In fact, Rory takes those troubles and stores them away in his mental attic until he can dispose of them later. What a guy!

What do you think a man with this type of gift would do for a living? Counsellor, doctor or emergency worker springs to mind. Nope, Rory drives a bus and uses his gift to alleviate the worries and concerns of his regular passengers; and they love him for it.

One day Rory picks up a negative energy, something dark and powerful, and that's where The Troubles Keeper by Australian author Susan May really kicks off.

Reminiscent of Dean Koontz, I was far more interested in Rory than the thrilling circumstances he finds himself drawn into, and would have been happy to learn more about him and his youth given the chance. The character reminded me a little of the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz, where I'm always more fascinated by his gift than what he 'gets up to' in each book. I wanted to stop and sift through the troubles Rory takes from people and was somewhat reluctant to be pulled into a thrilling ride to pursue the owner of the dark energy.

The Troubles Keeper has a touch of everything to keep the reader entertained throughout, including elements of crime, science fiction, the paranormal and the age-old motivators of love and revenge. Recommended for fans of Dean Koontz and Stephen King.

My rating = ***

Carpe Librum!