Review: Talk Your Way Out of Trouble by Jahan Kalantar

Jahan Kalantar is a successful criminal defence lawyer and advocate in Australia and in his memoir Talk Your Way Out of Trouble - Life Lessons from the Law I thought he was going to teach us how to talk our own way out of legal trouble should we ever find ourselves in it. I was hopeful he'd share the type of advice he's cultivated in his career and now regularly gives his clients. However, this isn't really that book.

Instead, this is Kalantar's memoir from his early days as a law student and law graduate, right through to the successful criminal lawyer he is today. This comprises time spent working as a solicitor in several different areas of the law and figuring out that wasn't his preferred career path for a variety of reasons. It also includes his time studying for the bar and qualifying as a barrister before deciding the wig - and everything that came with it - wasn't for him. Based in Sydney, Kalantar is also a university lecturer, social media commentator and public speaker so he's seen plenty of legal cases and helped more clients than he could probably count.

In this book, the author shares his career progression and a number of memorable cases that have shaped his view of life and the law along the way. Some cases and clients are touching or poignant and some are even funny but Kalantar doesn't shy away from sharing his mistakes along with his successes.

"Show up each day, do your best to adapt with grace, show resilience in the face of adversity and remember that mastery and perfection are a myth. Every day is simply us trying, it's why we call the work of a lawyer, practice." Afterword

I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author himself and it was interesting but wasn't the reading experience I anticipated. Instead, I assumed I was going to learn how to talk myself out of trouble. Naturally I accept full responsibility for jumping to the wrong conclusion about the contents, although I do wonder if the title misled any other readers in a similar way.

The author offers an effective method of saying sorry and it was a more succinct version of the method offered in Sorry, Sorry, Sorry - The Case for Good Apologies by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy. It was also the subject of a TEDxSydney event entitled A perfect apology in three steps which might be of interest to some readers.

After a generous and heartfelt series of Acknowledgements at the end of his book, I enjoyed this surprising addition:

"On the other side of the coin, I also want to take a moment to acknowledge the many people I've encountered during my years who were unnecessarily cruel, mean spirited, difficult and plainly unkind. On behalf of myself, and everyone else working to make the world a better place, fu*k you! I wrote this book anyway. I hope the lessons in it inspire you to live better, and seek to see the best in people before casting judgement." Acknowledgements

I'm sure many authors have had similar thoughts when publishing their work, but huge kudos to Kalantar for having the courage to include it for all to see. Loved it!

Talk Your Way Out of Trouble - Life Lessons from the Law by Jahan Kalantar is an excellent choice for anyone considering a career in law, law adjacent lines of work or advocacy.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Always Home, Always Homesick by Hannah Kent

* Copy courtesy of Pan Macmillan *

Always Home, Always Homesick is a memoir by bestselling Australian author Hannah Kent, focussing on her relationship with Iceland and the writing of her bestselling novel, Burial Rites.

Hannah Kent first visited Iceland straight after high school at the age of 17 when she participated in a Rotary exchange student program for a year. Living with different host families, learning the language and adapting to the culture and wildly different landscape was a life changing experience for the author.

Occasionally she mentions differences in language and culture that made me laugh out loud. One of those was her description of eating whale blubber for the first time and her response when asked by her foster family whether she liked it:

"It's like..." I hesitate. "Like biting into a lipstick. Made of fish." Page 74

However, buried deep within the travelogue and culture shock is the genesis of Burial Rites. I read the historical fiction novel Burial Rites in 2014 and was incredibly moved by Agnes' story. Agnes Magnúsdóttir (daughter of Magnus) and a farmhand by the name of Fridrik were convicted of murdering two men in March 1828. Agnes was the last person to be executed in Iceland and was beheaded in January 1830. Hannah came across the site of Agnes' execution while visiting Iceland and later became consumed with the case.

In 2013, Hannah Kent was featured in a piece called No More Than A Ghost on Australian Story where she described her writing and research process for Burial Rites. She revealed that many bizarre and weird coincidences took place throughout the writing process and it was this I was hoping to learn more about.

Thankfully I didn't have to wait long, and Hannah disclosed the following very early on:

"I come from a line of women who sometimes do dream things that are other and strange and not quite dreams at all, and there have been times in my life when my sister and my mother and I have known things, avoided things, warned of things dreamed. We don't usually speak of it outside of our tight trinity. It spooks people. But we three know the feeling of these not-dreams and I recognise it in that northern sea, in the boom of its crashing waves and their spray against my face, and the hidden river running to meet it. I lick my lips and anticipate salt. I wait for a greater understanding." Page 2

The first half of the memoir is Hannah's experience as an exchange student and it did take a while before this element re-surfaced. During this period I was moved by the connections she was able to make, largely due to her dedication to learning the language. Just as in Burial Rites, the writing is evocative, introspective and enlightening and raised many points for the reader to reflect on.

It wasn't a surprise to read she was homesick for her Australian home in the early months, but years later Hannah found herself homesick for Iceland, leading to the title Always Home, Always Homesick.

Other than the whale blubber and hákarl (rotten shark), the descriptions of Icelandic food made my mouth water and I'd love to try the kleina (donut) and the porridge made from fresh cow's milk. Trying to recreate some of the recipes in her home kitchen in Australia years later, the author reflects:

"But the truth is that all this cooking is an act of grief. I am engaging in ritual, locating a place and people I miss deeply, trying to create a little of the culture I miss." Page 151

The second half of the book moves into Hannah's life beyond the year of exchange, into her studies, PhD and research about Agnes. I was amazed to learn the full extent of her research, including more time living in Iceland and the reference material she was able to dig up in the archives and by meeting and engaging with the locals.

It was here that the author began to mention Agnes' presence and guiding hand although I had the sense there was a lot more going on than she felt comfortable sharing in this memoir. Perhaps it was dialled back out of fear of isolating the reader or perhaps the publisher suggested it be toned down, but the mere fact that others Hannah met during her research (like the actress Maria Ellingsen who played the character of Agnes in a 1995 movie about the case) had their own interactions with Agnes makes me believe that an intuitive person like Hannah would have experienced more than she shared on the page. 

As an example, in 1995 an Icelandic medium was urged by Agnes to guide a team to the burial location of two heads from the day of Agnes' execution so that they could be relocated. The remains were previously thought to have been buried in consecrated ground at a church but in truth were hastily disposed of near the site of her execution 165 years earlier.

Hannah's connection to Iceland has deepened over the years and she stayed in touch with her host families and friends and watched new generations born while time marched on in her own life too. Now married with children, the author manages to convey the importance of literature, storytelling and reading in Iceland and it's easy to see how this would have been a magnet to a young poet and writer from Australia.

I was also impressed to learn about Iceland's insistence on linguistic purism which extends to the naming of all babies born in Iceland. The Personal Names Committee must approve all baby names and if a name isn't included on the approved lists and if approval is sought for a name that doesn't reflect Iceland's structural and spelling conventions they're rejected by law. While this may sound rigid and inflexible to some, I can't help but admire a culture committed to protecting their heritage and ensuring their language is preserved generation to generation as the world continues to shrink.

All in all, Always Home, Always Homesick by Hannah Kent was a reflection on the trials and tribulations of being a writer, the wonder of language and our connection to the past. Containing next level nature writing - recommended for fans of Robert Macfarlane - in an almost square format that was a delight to hold in the hand, it's also about daring to step beyond your limits and the transformative discoveries and lasting bonds that can emerge as a result.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Unnatural Causes by Dr Richard Shepherd

Dr Richard Shepherd is a Forensic Pathologist in the UK and has performed over 23,000 post mortems. In his memoir, Unnatural Causes - The Life and Many Deaths of Britain's Top Forensic Pathologist he shares highlights from his early career until the time of publication in 2018.

Listening to the author narrate this memoir, his dedication and enthusiasm for the work definitely shines through. His early struggles to interact with the grieving loved ones of the deceased he looks after is also laid bare.

Shepherd worked on some well known cases but the one I was most surprised to read about was the Marchioness disaster.

In 1989, a party boat named the Marchioness was carrying 130 people along the Thames River in London when it collided with another vessel and a total of 51 people died. Identification of the remains at the time came down to fingerprints and dental records, however the bloating of some of the bodies that had taken longer to retrieve led officials to make one of the most horrific decisions in forensic pathology I've ever heard. Specialist equipment that could obtain fingerprints from waterlogged remains was available elsewhere in the country, but the logistics required to transport that many bodies at the time was prohibitive, so a decision was made to remove the hands of the deceased for testing. This was carried out without family approval and even typing these words I'm horrified this took place. However, it MIGHT have been deemed acceptable if those responsible for the process didn't make a complete mess of it. Bodies were given to the families without hands and some families were told they couldn't view the remains of their loved ones by undertakers causing untold additional grief and trauma.

Shepherd is clear that he wasn't responsible for making the decision to remove the hands and had no knowledge of the decision at the time. Understandably this element of the disaster still haunts him and the subsequent hearings and court cases ran for years. I remember reading about the case years ago and being utterly dumbstruck by the incompetence and lack of professionalism shown at the time. Reading Shepherd's involvement in the case, I couldn't help wondering if this memoir was a way for him to 'set the story straight' once and for all on this case and clear his name.

Several other cases the author chose to include were controversial and again I began to speculate that this might be the only avenue for a professional in his field to get his version on the record for the wider public; outside of legal testimony that is.

Some high profile cases - which will be recognised by UK readers - are included and the picture I began to see emerging is that Shepherd felt under valued and under utilised in some cases and unjustly criticised in others.

Interactions with his children and the slight overlap with his work made me uncomfortable and I wasn't surprised - and neither was he - when his marriage broke down. In fact, it reminded me quite a lot of the personal account of Peter Faulding in his memoir What Lies Beneath - My Life as a Forensic Search and Rescue Expert.

I deeply admire the work carried out by forensic pathologists, medical examiners, coroners and those who look after the dead and perhaps that's why I've read so many of their books.* While it's too soon for another just now, True Stories from the Morgue by John Merrick is on my TBR and likely to be the next one on the topic at some point in the future.

Unnatural Causes - The Life and Many Deaths of Britain's Top Forensic Pathologist by Dr Richard Shepherd is recommended for readers with an interest in forensic medicine.

* Other memoirs like this you may want to explore:
- All the Living and the Dead: A Personal Investigation Into the Death Trade by Hayley Campbell
- Personal Effects: What Recovering the Dead Teaches Me About Caring for the Living by Robert A. Jensen
- Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker-in-Training by Tom Jokinen
- Working Stiff: Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner by Judy Melinek MD & T.J. Mitchell

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Fierce Appetites by Elizabeth Boyle

Fierce Appetites - Lessons From My Year of Untamed Thinking by Elizabeth Boyle is structured in 12 chapters, each representing one month in the year 2020. Boyle manages to seamlessly blend elements of her own personal life with the stories and tales from her field of study as Head of Early Irish at Maynooth University and Anglo Saxon, Norse and Celtic Studies in which she has a doctorate from Cambridge University.

Drawing on Irish myths and sagas from 5th-12th centuries - part of the Middle Ages and medieval period - the 12 essay topics include: grief, journeys, inheritance, time, bodies, memory and more. From January to December, the author does mention the pandemic in order to touch on her living circumstances, the isolation of lockdown and the ways she manages to keep her students engaged, but this - thankfully - isn't a covid memoir.

Within each chapter, the author shares autobiographical information about herself, right alongside ancient stories and texts from medieval Ireland and somehow manages to make it work. Not your typical medieval historian, Elizabeth Boyle discloses to the reader many times that she left her child with her daughter's father in order to pursue her desire for knowledge and self fulfilment in another country. The separation and guilt she bears continues to surface in the essays and she boldly remains unafraid to share details of her alcoholism and sex life and the fact that she was 'the other woman'. In addition to her love of heavy metal music, I found these personal insights incongruous with her smooth and polished accent and method of delivery in the audiobook.

I imagine Dr Elizabeth Boyle is a favourite amongst her university students, despite - or perhaps a direct result of - her intimate disclosures. She's able to relate the challenges of our everyday lives in the present to medieval Irish mythology in a stimulating and nuanced way, making it easy to see why she's at the top of her field.

Fierce Appetites by Elizabeth Boyle is recommended listening for those who enjoy Irish history and memoir, a unique combination in this case.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Word Freak by Stefan Fatsis

I love playing Scrabble! It's a popular word game of skill and chance and journalist Stefan Fatsis entered the competitive world of Scrabble hoping for some material worthy of publishing.

What he discovered was an intense sub culture with its own rules and guiding principles and a range of dedicated, intelligent and sometimes eccentric players all striving to win. Word Freak - Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive Scrabble Players by Stefan Fatsis is the result of his research and complete immersion in the Scrabble scene.

First, it's important to know Scrabble can be played on a competitive level and the book largely takes place in the USA.

"To play competitive Scrabble, one has to get over the conceit of refusing to acknowledge certain words as real and accept that the game requires learning words that may not have any outside utility." Page 40

This is why competitive Scrabble doesn't appeal to me as a player. The author explains that vocabulary defines the better player in a living room situation, but in a competitive environment it's about mastering the rules of the game and memorising words. Two letter words are 'twos', three letter words 'threes' and so forth. Players keep track of tiles the way a card shark counts cards and there are endless strategies for discarding tiles, playing offensive and defensive and more.

Fatsis explains that players who compete at tournaments receive ranking points based on a very complicated system of wins and margins and are paired within divisions according to their latest ranking. A competitor will play multiple games at each tournament and Fatsis tells us just how hierarchical these tournaments are:

"In the playing room, you can't just sit wherever you fancy. The top-division tables typically are farthest from the main doors. And Table 1 of Division 1 - where the players with the best records meet in the latter stages of most tournaments - is usually in the farthest corner. The quality of play descends to the weakest novices in the room's opposite corner. And there isn't much interdivisional mingling. Experts have no interest in novice boards, and novices, who could benefit from learning new words or watching experts analyze positions, appear afraid to cross class boundaries." Page 37

In this way, the author quickly establishes the basics of competitive Scrabble and is glad to be warmly welcomed into the fold so to speak. Players knows he's a journalist from The Wall Street Journal and readily answer his questions while encouraging him to improve his game.

Many of the top players enjoy anagramming with each other in a playfully competitive nature and intellect is celebrated. Anagramming involves arranging tiles alphabetically on a rack - or saying them aloud - and identifying words made from the letters. This helps the players refine their skills and see the potential in the rack, and the majority of highly ranked players have created or implemented some kind of study program to learn and remember words.

There's quite a lot of content around the accepted dictionary of words, how it began and how it's updated etc.

"The Scrabble world decided that The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary [OSPD], first published in 1978, would for the purposes of the game, answer the question: What is a word?" Pages 40-41

But just to complicate things, there are two separate word sources that govern the game of Scrabble in North America and Great Britain.

"The new book is called the Official Tournament and Club Word List, and is known as the OWL." Page 41

I'd elaborate further but it gets quite confusing, suffice to say that Americans are at a significant disadvantage when playing overseas. Some embrace the additional words available to them, whilst others - predictably - refuse to change; essentially creating two camps. The deletion of offensive words caused a ruckus in the Scrabble community and several players who did a lot of work contributing to dictionary entries and study programs have been screwed over and distanced themselves from competitive play as a result.

There was even drama at the top level, with the dissolution of the National Scrabble Association (NSA) and the formation of the North American Scrabble Players Association (NASPA) in its place. Some players had various issues with the way NASPA was organising things and while many readers may find this overkill or boring, my interest - just - carried me through. It seems politics and drama exists everywhere.

It's unclear when exactly Fatsis becomes subsumed by Scrabble, but he quickly fixates on his rating, loses his temper when he doesn't play well and embarks on a range of study techniques, implementing tips from top players along the way.

Here's an example of some advice from Joe Edley that we can all learn from:

"Studying Scrabble words is like walking around the world, but as you start walking your feet start getting bigger. Every step you take is taking you farther. The more you study, the more ability you develop and the easier it becomes to learn more." Page 133

I'd say reading is the same! This is excellent advice and it can be applied to more than just Scrabble. Witnessing the author's improvement and progression through the rankings as he dedicated more and more time to it was satisfying. Often frustrating for the author himself, it was hard not to become invested in the nitty gritty details of specific plays gone wrong, missed opportunities, excellent plays and hard won victories.

Towards the end of the book, the author acknowledges that he's played more than a thousand games of Scrabble since embarking on his journey to write about the sub culture and it's taken him to unexpected places. I was surprised at the depth of relationships he developed over the course of the book, always rooming and carpooling with fellow players, regularly socialising outside of competitions and playing endless games in between.

Openly sharing their advice, strategies and study techniques, Fatsis also shared personal observations of their character, personality and lifestyle choices giving the reader quite an intimate view of some of the players. I often wondered whether he'd crossed the line and later learned in the Afterword that at least one player was unhappy about the way in which he was portrayed in the book.

Originally published in 2001, my new copy has an updated Preface and - cleverly titled - Afterwordfreak published in 2011. I particularly enjoyed reading updates on players who featured quite prominently in the book, and in a very meta way, the impact Word Freak had on new and upcoming players in the ten years it's been on shelves. The increase in technology and the emergence of new players who grew up playing bots online and using apps to improve their skills have now entered the fray. You'd assume the old-school players would feel threatened by them, but they seem to enjoy seeing new talent emerging and celebrate the successes of players decades younger than themselves.

While reading Word Freak I started playing the odd game of Scrabble online - against the computer - and found myself enjoying the game immensely and implementing many of the techniques outlined in this book. Word Freak by Stefan Fatsis was a terrific deep dive into the competitive world of Scrabble and I hope to watch the subsequent documentary Word Wars.

For more: 
- Read a FREE excerpt
- Check out my review of It's All A Game - A Short History of Board Games by Tristan Donovan

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Theft by Finding Diaries 1977-2002 by David Sedaris

Books by David Sedaris have been a somewhat regular feature here on Carpe Librum since 2021, and this offering marks my 7th review of his work. I have tickets to see David Sedaris live when he comes to Melbourne next year and thought I'd tackle the first volume of his diaries after they were recommended by an author whose recommendations I trust.

Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002 by David Sedaris covers a huge chunk of his life, although Sedaris is clear at the outset that the diary entries selected for this collection are a mere drop in the ocean.

"It's worth mentioning that this is my edit. Of the roughly 8 million words handwritten or typed into my diary since September 5 1977, I'm including only a small fraction. An entirely different book from the same source material could make me appear nothing but evil, selfish, generous or even - dare I say - sensitive. On any given day I am all these things and more: stupid, cheerful, misanthropic, cruel, narrow minded, open, petty, the list goes on and on. A different edit, no doubt a more precise one would have involved handing my diary over to someone else, but that is something I cannot imagine doing, unless perhaps, that person is a journalist. They never get beyond the third page, which they usually call the middle, as in 'I'd hoped to finish this before our interview but am only in the middle'." Chapter 1

Beginning in 1977, the diary entries provide a wonderful snapshot of life at the time, reflecting the attitudes and social norms of those around him. Sedaris is a master of observation and conversation with people and he shares multiple snapshots into lives that merely intersected his for moments, days or weeks.

Living in poor neighbourhoods and taking odd jobs to pay the rent, Sedaris seemed to be surrounded by a lot of domestic conflict often leading to outright domestic violence. The author also shares multiple accounts of bullying and harassment while walking on the street, riding his bike and generally out in public, most of which he tries not to engage with.

The rise of AIDS is barely touched on although Sedaris often mentions he's mistaken for a woman on the phone and is called a fag by strangers when he won't give them cigarettes or money etc. There's no inner reflection or deep interrogation of his thoughts and feelings on these topics and I'm not sure whether he chose not to record them at the time or merely decided not to include them in this collection. Sedaris does mention he regrets not recording word-for-word conversations with family members in his diary as some of them have since died and he'd like to re-read them.

I've mentioned Sedaris' drug taking in the past and I really didn't enjoy the amount of air time given to his recreational drug use. He doesn't share any real reason for his drug taking or discuss any mental struggle related to the activity, perhaps preferring to keep it private. He does mention giving up alcohol and staying sober, but it's not a big focus and there wasn't any of the expected deep inner reflection.

Meeting his partner Hugh in 1990 was a highlight and I enjoyed tracking his early involvement in stage plays and the joy at his rising success via reviews and interviews, and later his early books. But again, my favourite sections were the entries written when he was taking a course to learn French. His sense of humour and love of word play definitely shone through, and I admired his effort to embrace the language. One favourite entry involved Hugh cutting his finger with a knife, and Sedaris racing down to the store not knowing the word for bandaid, and saying:

"My friend cut his finger and I am looking for a morsel of rubber." Chapter 23

Hugh later points out that the correct phrasing is 'cut of himself the finger' and Sedaris finds himself hoping Hugh will injure himself again so that he can return to the store with both the reflexive verb to 'cut of oneself' and the proper word for bandaid. Love it!

The advantage of a diary format is that the entries are relatively short in length, however the inevitable payoff is that the format can become a little repetitive after a while. Sometimes an engaging entry was included without a follow up that left me hanging (did his cat recover?) or wondering what happened only for the next entry to pick up weeks later.

This audiobook comes in at just under 14 hours and is therefore quite the commitment. Volume 2 A Carnival of Snackery: Diaries 2003-2020 comes in at a whopping 17+ hours so I don't imagine I'll be getting to that any time soon. If anything, I may listen to The Best of Me by David Sedaris before I see his show in February 2025 as I've had quite enough of the diary format for now.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Sociopath by Patric Gagne

Patric Gagne is a sociopath, and in her memoir of the same title she shares her experience growing up knowing she was different but not understanding why. From a very young age Gagne knew she wasn't the same as other children because she didn't feel guilt, shame or empathy. Raised in a wealthy neighbourhood in California, Gagne was mean to other children, lied, stole, snuck out at night to stalk neighbours and trespassed in their homes even as a young girl. Without fear to stifle her desires, she engaged in very risky behaviour that was hard to listen to at times.

Sociopath - A Memoir by Patric Gagne is a reflective novel about the author's continual struggle to resist her urges and relieve the pressure building inside her to do bad things. I was surprised that her willingness to be open about her transgressions didn't extend to sexual development and she doesn't mention any sexual activity in her memoir. Perhaps this was a conscious choice for her family's sake as Gagne is now married with a family, which isn't a spoiler by the way. That aside, when a person is open enough to admit doing physical harm to another and genuinely doesn't care what other people think, surely a little sexual promiscuity - if indeed there was any - isn't that bad by comparison?

Later in life Gagne learns about sociopathy and begins a lifelong desire to understand everything she can about it. She reads all the information she can get her hands on in the library and her study continues well into her adulthood living in Los Angeles. After noticing a serious lack of information and resources for sociopaths seeking help, Gagne decides she will help her own kind and embarks on a pathway studying clinical psychology, eventually earning a PhD in clinical psychology by examining the relationship between sociopathy and anxiety.

Gagne points out that sociopaths comprise around 5% of the population and includes discussions held with her therapist and lecturers in a years long reflection on her struggle to understand and accept herself.

Working full time in the music industry as a manager while studying, Gagne kept herself busy to limit opportunities to do bad things, however repeated examples of what seemed like a lavish lifestyle - including a reference to attending a party at the Playboy mansion - made this reader's eyes roll. I accept that wanting to understand people from all walks of life doesn’t just mean those with less than you, it also means people with more than you, but I certainly felt that well and truly on display here. Ultimately though, after finishing her memoir, I am left feeling grateful for all Gagne has contributed to the field of sociopathy.

I recommend Sociopath - A Memoir by Patric Gagne for readers who think they might be a sociopath or those who have one in their family, work or friend circle. While interested in the topic of sociopathy, psychopathy and anti-social personality disorders, I wasn't expecting such a deep and protracted look at one patient's struggle to deal with her condition.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Review: Happy Go Lucky by David Sedaris

Hard to believe, but Happy-Go-Lucky is my sixth book by David Sedaris. I've listened to all of them on audiobook and I just love his sing song rhythm of reflection and storytelling. After a while, I find myself yearning to hear more of his stories and this time - thankfully - I wasn't disappointed.

I've acknowledged in previous reviews that David's white privilege is on full display but it doesn't get under my skin in the same way it does - or has - for other readers. We already know he's white and wealthy and gay, so taking offence with his privilege isn't quite fair. What other lived experience can he offer?

My key takeaway from listening to Happy-Go-Lucky was a chapter called A Speech to the Graduates which comprised a commencement address Sedaris gave to graduates at Oberlin College. Recorded in 2018, you can watch it for free here. I found the speech so entertaining I listened to it twice and asked my husband to listen to it with me. If asked to choose between Make Good Art by Neil Gaiman (a renowned speech to graduates if there ever was one) and this one, I'd be hard pressed to choose between them. They're completely dissimilar in style, but what they share in common is an ability to inspire young listeners to take risks, make mistakes and make the most of life.

The chapter entitled Active Shooter documents the author's experience going to a firing range for the first time with his sister Lisa.

"This was a niche market I knew nothing about until I returned to Lisa's house later that day and went online. There I found websites selling gun concealment vests, t-shirts, jackets you name it. One company makes boxer briefs with a holster in the back which they call compression concealment shorts, but which I would call gunderpants." Chapter: Active Shooter

Definitely more entertaining than David Thorne's reminiscences about hunting in the USA for the first time in That's Not How You Wash a Squirrel.

As he mentions in his speech to the graduates, Sedaris recommends the practice of having a few jokes up your sleeve at any given time. In a chapter entitled Themes and Variations, the author proceeds to tell some of the best jokes he's heard from fans on book signing tours which had me laughing out loud and often. The two most memorable included a snail's reaction and two priests in a car, while the anecdote offered regarding two rolling pins and falling down the stairs had me laughing so hard I was red-faced with tears streaming down my face.

Sedaris always manages to deliver both light and dark and in Happy-Go-Lucky he bravely discloses his father's declining health, surprising personality changes and eventual death:

"... our natures, I have just recently learned from my father, can change. Or maybe they're simply revealed, and the dear cheerful man I saw that afternoon at Springmore was there all along, smothered in layers of rage and impatience that burned away as he blazed into the home stretch." Chapter: Happy-Go-Lucky

Sedaris has previously written about living in France and learning the language, and in this offering published in 2022, he remembers what it was like during his first few visits, smiling and pretending to know what was going on.

"It was so humbling being robbed of my personality like that. I was never the smartest guy in the room but I could usually hold my own. In Normandy though, I was considered an idiot. Worse still, I couldn't get a laugh to save my life. In America, that was my thing, my identity." Chapter: Bruised

Books that can make me laugh until I cry usually earn an automatic 5 stars from me, but two chapters bothered me a little. The first was about a young male and the second was a chapter entitled Lady Marmalade where the author shared a controversial view about his sister Tiffany's accusations of abuse by their father. While these views were shared by other family members, it's not a topic I was comfortable hearing about or thought was appropriate to share with the public. Nevertheless, I'm not surprised Sedaris chose to work through these questions in the way he knows best, writing.

My Rating:

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Suddenly Single At Sixty Winner Announced

Thanks to everyone who entered my giveaway last week to win a copy of Suddenly Single At Sixty by Jo Peck thanks to Text Publishing. All entrants correctly identified the book is an 'inspiring, witty and at times hilarious memoir'. Entries closed at midnight on Sunday 12 May 2024 and I drew the winner today, congratulations to: 

LOBROO!

Congratulations!! You've won a print copy of Suddenly Single At Sixty by Jo Peck valued at $36.99AUD thanks to Text Publishing. You'll receive an email from me shortly and will have 5 days to provide your AUS or NZ postal address. The publisher will then send your prize out to you directly. Cheers and hope you enjoy this inspiring memoir 💛